Tag: quiz

Medical and Image Consultancy

Hello, dear followers! I know that many of you are aware that, as the Lifestyle Support Guru, I am able to help with all sorts of problems in this weary walk along life’s meandering paths through the forests of fear and woods of worry that so many of you have to navigate, but you may not be aware that I am also a fully-qualified MEDICAL and IMAGE CONSULTANT.

Here is a scientifically proven method of dealing with troublesome coughs which may assail you this autumn and all you will need is a bottle of white wine and a bottle of red. This has been tested by the LSG personally, so I can confirm that it works.
1. Develop a troublesome cough that keeps you awake at night.

Large glass red wine

Large glass red wine

2. On the first night, have a glass of white wine prior to retiring. RESULT? The cough will still keep you awake.
3. On the second night, have a glass of red wine prior to retiring. RESULT? You will sleep like a baby ALL THROUGH THE NIGHT (hmm, sounds like a good title for a Welsh song, but I digress), apart from the obligatory 4 am visit to the loo.

There you have it – always keep a bottle of good red wine close at hand, just in case you feel a cough coming on. In fact, may I suggest that you drink the wine BEFORE the cough develops? Prevention is better than cure!

I am sure that many of you will have heard about dog owners coming to resemble their pets (and even vice versa), but I have developed this theory further and I can now reveal that OWNERS OF WINE BOTTLES may come to resemble their bottles both in shape and personality!
Look carefully at the bottles in your wine cellar (or, as in my case, the wine rack under the kitchen worktop) and consider which one(s) you resemble:



– A Bordeaux or Sauvignon Blanc? You are tall and slim with a serious side to you.
– A Burgundy? Classic, yet elegant, with slightly sloping shoulders and a little more body.
– A cheeky bottle of Côtes de Provence? You are curvy and fun (and perhaps a little pink)!
– Champagne? Sturdy, yet graceful, welcome at all gatherings.
– A wine box? You can be a little bit of a square, so perhaps you need to be a little more adventurous.

I have considered all my bottles and I think I need to start stocking up on Chianti or Mateus Rosé, which may more closely resemble my overall shape.

Have a good weekend and don’t forget that visit to your local wine merchant to check out if you’re the right shape!

Quiz Question Giggles

Giggling girl


A very good afternoon from the Lifestyle Support Guru! Today I am not going to offer any advice; instead, I am going to MAKE YOU GIGGLE with some quiz answers that have made me smile and GIGGLE in the last few days.

The first was a conversation overheard in the pub (where else?) the other evening during the quiz night. I will set the scene:
Mother and father, young son (about 11) and young daughter (about 14) are sitting at the table next to the LSG’s, waiting for a taxi to take them home after attending the nearby Concert in the Park. The question master asks, ‘Who

Elephant carrying people

Hannibal crossing the Alps

crossed the Alps with elephants?’
Mother (to the rest of her party): I think it was Hannibal.
Daughter: Who’s Hannibal?
M: He crossed the Alps with elephants.
D: Where are the Alps?
M: In France, I think.
D: No, that’s not right. The Alps are in South America. How could you cross them with elephants? They don’t have elephants in South America.
(LSG thinks: they’re not that common in France either.)
M: I thought you were doing Geography GCSE?
D: Yes, but we haven’t done the Alps.
Sadly, their taxi arrived at this point because I would have loved to hear their answers to the rest of the questions.

The second occasion to make me GIGGLE was last night. Once more, let me set the scene: my television has developed an annoying habit of tuning itself into random TV stations whenever I turn it on. Last night it was tuned into some station showing re-runs of old quiz programmes and ‘Bullseye’ was on, so I sat watching it for a few minutes whilst waiting for the cats to decide whether they wanted to stay in or go out (I spend quite a bit of time waiting for them to make their minds up).

Dalai Lama

Dalai Lama

Jim Bowen (you can do your own impressions): Now, Roy, your next question – who is the spiritual leader of Tibet?
Roy (brow furrowed): Erm, the Higher Llama?
JB (straight faced): I’m sorry; that’s wrong. Fran, do you know the answer?
Fran (big grin to go with her big hair and big glasses): Yes, it’s the Dire Llama.

Othello and Desdemona

Othello and Desdemona

And finally, my favourite, passed on to me by a good Geordie friend, whom I shall call Jo for the sake of convenience. Scene-setting: a family party a few years ago where they were playing Trivial Pursuit and Jo was helping her 14-year-old nephew with his answers by whispering them to him when he got stuck.

Question: What is the name of the main female lead in Shakespeare’s ‘Othello’?
Jo (whispering): Desdemona
Nephew: What?
J: Desdemona.
N: What?
J: Desdemona.
N (calling out his answer): Dennis the Moaner!

I’m still giggling at that one! Have a good week!

The Happiness Quiz!

laughing emoticon


A very good afternoon from the Lifestyle Support Guru! I know that many of you, my followers, enjoy those little online quizzes which help you discover your inner self, such as what you were in a past life, the colour of your inner aura, what you had for breakfast, that sort of thing, so I thought I would let you try one that I have devised. This quiz will help you find out your level of HAPPINESS! It’s very simple and only has three questions, so here you go:
1. You put some washing on the line but don’t have time to take it in before you go out for the evening. You return later than planned and it’s now too dark to bring it in (without tripping over something in the dark because your garden solar lights don’t work). You’re sure that the forecast for the next day was ‘Fine’, so you decide to leave it on the line overnight. The next morning, when you get up, you discover that it’s raining very slightly. Do you:
a. Rant and rave because your washing is getting wet, but decide to leave it out there now that it’s wet?
b. Sigh and then go and fetch it in to dry inside?
c. Shout ‘Yippee!’ because the rain will help to remove the creases and make the clothes easier to iron?

2. You follow your usual morning routine when you get up – go downstairs, turn on the radio in

cat laughing

Laughing Cat

the kitchen, let the cats out, leaving the back door open for them, make a coffee, turn off the radio and return upstairs to read your emails. A little while later, you are ready for your second coffee, so you go back downstairs and can hear voices. You think you must have left the radio on, but no – it’s the television in the front room and you never go in the front room first thing in the morning. Do you:
a. Immediately think that a mad axe murderer has come in by the open back door and is now sitting calmly watching breakfast television in the front room while waiting for you?
b. Sigh and wonder if you should call in a local vicar (if you knew one) to perform an exorcism because you have obviously got a poltergeist who likes breakfast television?
c. Shout ‘Yippee!’ because the cats have obviously learned how to turn on the TV and maybe they’ll now learn how to work the washing machine for you?

3. Some thieving little toe-rag has stolen your car aerial and you can no longer get any radio stations other than local ones, which can be rather tedious at times (one of yesterday’s items was about growing underarm hair!). Do you:
a. Rant and rave about today’s youth, because you are sure it must be some silly little teenager with his trousers hanging around his crotch who thought it would be funny to take it as he and his Neanderthal mates walked by?
b. Sigh and think about going to your nearest dealer to get a new one, although you know it will cost you an arm and a leg?
c. Go to your local, friendly (independent) garage and ask them if they can help, then shout ‘Yippee!’ because they replace it with an old aerial from a Vauxhall (yours is a Kia) and the radio now works perfectly, so you can once again have a go at Pop Master on the Ken Bruce show. Not only that, but your car has now been customised – it must be the only Kia with a spirally Vauxhall aerial. AND the garage doesn’t charge you a thing!

happy tiger

happy tiger

1. If you answered mostly ‘a’, then you need to consider anger management classes or perhaps a therapist.
2. If you answered mostly ‘b’, then you need to get a life.
3. If you answered mainly ‘c’, then you are one of the HAPPIEST people in the world and you should consider spreading that HAPPINESS around – perhaps by going out for lunch (even) more often!