Category: Lockdown

Exercising in Lockdown

Hello, hello, hello! Lifestyle Support Guru here, with some advice on getting through lockdown healthily. I am always looking for ways to help you live a more fulfilling life but without expecting you to have to do too much because I don’t believe in overdoing it if I can help it. Now, I know that one of the pieces of advice often given to help keep this virus at bay is to do some exercise and I am aware that I don’t give a great deal of advice on this form of help because, to be honest, exercise always seems like too much hard work to me, but I am open-minded enough to give it a try now and again and that is exactly what I did today!
https://www.lifestylesupportguru.com/Let me set the scene – slightly-younger-sibling (SYS) and I had decided a couple of days ago that we would have a drive out to a nearby tourist attraction – let’s call it Calke Abbey for the sake of argument – because the weather was promised to be sunny and we felt it would make a nice change. SYS could walk around and do some photography and the LSG could get some exercise walking to the café for a hot chocolate. Sorted!
Off we went, although it was most unusual for the LSG to be washed, dressed and out of the house by 10.15 am – practically daybreak! Dressing to go out in public was also a novelty and I opted for the ‘parish priest’ look – a grey V-neck jumper with a black round-necked top underneath (channelling my inner Vicar of Dibley), although I drew the line at a dog collar. Outer garments comprised a red coat and a white scarf, but I decided to forego the green shoes – I felt it would be too much to be wandering around looking like an ambulatory Welsh flag.
https://www.lifestylesupportguru.com/We duly arrived at our destination and SYS set off with his camera in one direction while I headed for the café in the opposite direction, intending to get a hot chocolate and a bit of breakfast, maybe a nice sausage cob. The trouble is, we are so aware of loitering nowadays, especially with people queuing up outside, that I rather rushed my breakfast order and ended up with a hot chocolate and an egg mayo sandwich because I just chose the first thing I saw on the blackboard! Imagine, the LSG – flustered! I went outside, intending to go round the corner and find a table to sit and enjoy my ‘breakfast’, but decided the chances of an empty table and chair were slim, so I opted for standing next to a wooden structure that looked like a tallish table.
And there I was, munching on my egg mayo breakfast, when I suddenly spotted a friend – and regular Wednesday night Facebook quizzer – heading for the café! Gail – I’ll call her that for the sake of anonymity – joined me at my ‘table’, remaining socially distanced, of course, and we stood chatting away, swapping gossip for the best part of an hour, interrupted only by the occasional person wishing to avail themselves of the litter facility, because that’s what my ‘table’ was, dear followers – a well-disguised rubbish bin! Never let it be said that the LSG doesn’t hang around in the best places! The water cooler of the outdoor space!
https://www.lifestylesupportguru.com/When SYS turned up, I knew it was time to leave, and completed my bout of exercise by heading back to the car. There was only one slight element that spoiled the whole experience – when I got home and looked in the mirror, I found I had two large, black smudges under my eyes where the bright sunshine had made my eyes water and my mascara run! Gail must have thought she was talking to a panda, and no wonder SYS walked off in front of me as if he didn’t know who I was! A lot of people smiled at me, though – they must have known I was the LSG!
Look after yourselves, dear devotees! 

A Coronavirus Tale for Our Times

Hello, dear Followers and Believers! Lifestyle Support Guru here, once again trying to help you make sense of life and all its attendant problems, of which there are many at https://www.lifestylesupportguru.com/the moment. I know that many of you are still concerned about the coronavirus and you may be losing sleep through worry, so I thought I would share a little story with you that I wrote for my female siblings and some of their offspring, who seem to like strange stories. This may help you sleep better (although a glass of wine can have the same effect) because it clears up a lot of confusion about some of the theories surrounding coronavirus. Are you sitting comfortably? Then I’ll begin…
Once upon a time there was a bat called Boris who caught a bad cold; unfortunately, https://www.lifestylesupportguru.com/instead of staying in until he recovered, like his mummy had told him, he went out to play with his friends and he passed it on to them. One of his friends, called Dominic (not a cool name for a bat, but he didn’t care), decided to visit his family in another part of the country. Dominic didn’t know that he had caught Boris’s cold, and so he passed it on to his family and friends and they, in turn, passed it on to their friends. Meanwhile, other friends of Boris had caught this cold and were merrily passing it on to everyone else they met – Hank Matcock, Sharp Grant, Dominic Rabid and Rees-Moggy, the local tomcat who liked to tell everyone else how to live their lives, did a sterling job of ensuring that as many animals as possible caught this nasty cold. Some even died, but Boris and his friends lost count of how many, so they pretended that the numbers weren’t as high as they really were and, since many animals can’t count very high – usually only to 3, sometimes 4 – nobody was very concerned.
https://www.lifestylesupportguru.com/Oh dear, thought Boris, this can’t all be my fault. It must have been caused by something else; so he consulted lots of other very clever animals – some of whom could count to 5! – and they learned that Ickie the Iguana had originally created the virus by accident when he was shape-shifting one day, using different viruses to help him change from being a Nile crocodile – because they get such bad press! – to something smaller and cuter like a turtle; unfortunately, Ickie mixed his viruses wrongly, which is how he ended up as an iguana, but he didn’t really mind, because iguanas are quite popular, almost as much as turtles. However, one of his friends, Donald the horny lizard, caught the mixed-up virus and passed it on to another shape-shifter, called Billy Gator (his brother Ally had shape-shifted once too often and was now stuck as a wart snake, which nobody liked very much at all).
Billy Gator was a very caring reptile and helped lots of other creatures, even those that weren’t reptiles, but some creatures didn’t like him doing this and accused him of https://www.lifestylesupportguru.com/working with the Big Farmer. NOBODY liked the Big Farmer because he didn’t care very much for other creatures, only himself and making as much money as he could. Billy was very upset by this accusation and consulted some of his REALLY important friends – the Gods in the Skies! He spoke to Plautus, the Greek god of wealth, and asked him if he could help reclaim his reputation, but Plautus was too busy handing out wealth right, left and centre (the centre consisted solely of Libdem, a cheerful, if small, rabbit) to help Billy. So, Billy went to Anubis, the https://www.lifestylesupportguru.com/Egyptian dog of death (Billy thought Anubis was a god, but he’d never been any good at spelling), but Anubis was also busy, embalming dead animals and looking after the Underworld with his Greek mate Hades who, for some unknown reason, had changed his name to Pluto, which confused the animals enormously because they either got him mixed up with Plautus, the one giving away money, or a dwarf living up in the sky at the end of a terraced row of planets, or a large, long-eared dog who was the pet of a large mouse called Mickey.
When Boris learned all this, he was really pleased, because it meant he hadn’t started it all and now he could wash his hands of the whole thing – except that bats don’t have hands… and therein lies the moral of the story…😁
Goodnight, sleep tight, don’t let the bedbugs bite – you never know what disease they may be carrying!