As you know, part of my mission as the Lifestyle Support Guru is to help you negotiate your way through the rapids and whirlpools of life and I have been reminded of this during a rare (!) visit to a local hostelry this evening. Again as you know, I make these visits purely on your behalf, since they are of no beneficial use to me. I felt that the following conversation might help you understand life and its origins, as discussed by two gentlemen of ‘a certain age’, as the French put it (although usually to describe women):
Man no. 1: You realise that it is sheer chance that we are here tonight.
Man no. 2: Yes, it was a good job we got the right bus.
MN1: No, it’s just sheer chance that I am who I am and you are who you are. I could have been a girl and so could you.
It was this profound statement that drew my attention away from ‘The Ghosts of Maple Creek’, the hidden object game that had been fascinating me for the previous 30 seconds.
MN1: If my parents had decided to make love the next night or the night before, I might have been a completely different person, depending on which sperm got to which egg.
MN2: I see what you mean. In fact, I could have been your best friend as a girl if my parents had done the same.
MN1: Exactly. In fact, it’s a wonder we’re here at all, given the Black Death.
MN2: Oh? (He’s not quite following the logic at this point, which may have something to do with the beer.)
MN1: Yes, the Black Death killed off so many that it’s surprising that any of us survived. It’s only thanks to my parents that we’re here.
MN2: Your parents?
MN1: Oh, and yours too.
(‘Phew!’ I thought)
MN2: Actually, I remember the precise moment William was conceived.
I’m hoping that William is his son and not the Duke of Cambridge.
MN1: Wow! (He was genuinely impressed!)
It was at this point that I began to wish that both of them had drunk less beer and that I had decided to stay in for once. I then tuned in to an absolutely FASCINATING conversation on the other side of the room about painting a fence…
I may have to return to ‘The Ghosts of Maple Creek’…
David Attenborough, eat your heart out…