Confused? Puzzled? Don’t know which way to turn? Feel as if you are swaying first one way and then the other? In? Out? Shaken it all about? First, check that you are not drunk and in the middle of the hokey-cokey. If not, then you must be one of the millions who need the support of the Lifestyle Support Guru to give some guidance on the EU Referendum. I am not here to tell you which way to vote: that is between you and your conscience – assuming you have one, of course. Personally, I have managed very well without one for many years now and do not intend to start using it in the immediate future. Life is so much easier that way; but I digress…
Firstly, I have heard many people argue that we would be better off maintaining the Status Quo, but I haven’t heard Francis Rossi or Rick Parfitt say anything about staying in or leaving. I don’t think they’re bothered, although they’re thinking of re-releasing a couple of their singles – ‘Living on an Island’ and ‘Down the Dustpipe’, but they feel ‘Ain’t Complainin’ might be a little bit too hard to believe.
Here, as I see it, are the main points to consider:
If we leave:
– What will happen in the Eurovision? Will we still be allowed to enter? I don’t see why not, since Israel and Australia are allowed to enter and they cannot be called ‘European’ by any stretch of the imagination. We won it twice before we joined the EU – in 1967 and 1969 (joint winners with Spain, the Netherlands and France) – and three times since joining in 1973 – in 1976, 1981 and 1997. Clearly, if we leave the EU, we are less likely to win, given these statistics. Surely, everyone in their right minds wants us to lose so that we don’t have to host it? If we have to host it, just think of all those Johnny Foreigners coming to our shores to cheer on their acts! Just think of the burden on our infrastructure – the taxis all these visitors will need; the hotel rooms filled up; the fish and chip shops overrun; the post-event counselling when we lose – again. The list is endless.
– We are better off out.
If we stay:
– Apparently, France still has a ‘wine lake’ – if we leave, will they still allow us to swim in it? I think not; or, at least, only at a highly inflated price. If we stay, we can still be at the table and decide if we want a Merlot, a Bordeaux, a Chablis, a Beaujolais; if we leave, it is likely that we will only be offered ‘vin de table’ in 2-litre plastic bottles. The thought is frightening! Will the Italians allow us to maintain so many Italian restaurant chains if we leave? Will they put up the price of their prosecco? And what of Nando’s? The Portuguese (with Mozambican influences) may well decide not to let us have a choice of ‘chicken with lemon and herb, mango and lime, medium, hot, extra hot or extra extra hot’ dishes if we depart the EU. This will leave us with a surfeit of chickens, which we will then have to sell to KFC. Do you really want to bring your children up on a diet of ‘Double Bucket Deals’ for the rest of their lives?
– We are better off in.
Clearly, the choice is yours – Eurovision or Nando’s? It’s a hard decision and you only have until June 23rd to make it. Print out this handy little guide and keep it with you when you go to vote so that you can remind yourselves of the arguments. In, out, in, out, shake it all about…