A happy weekend from the Lifestyle Support Guru. Some useful advice coming up after a party political broadcast:
I’m not normally a political animal but I just had to let you know how I understand that
‘We’re all in this together’ and, as the weather gets colder, that the advice to wear an extra jumper and to keep the heating on in only one room during the day to save on heating bills has made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, knowing that the Cabinet members care about our welfare and probably do exactly the same in 10 Downing Street – all huddled together in that big Cabinet meeting room, warming their hands by blowing on them and eating a small bowl of gruel a day, whilst piling on their cashmere jumpers by the dozen.
Unfortunately, it hasn’t made me feel all warm and fuzzy on the outside because you only have to move from that one warm room to the bathroom or the kitchen and all that warmth seems to evaporate. But I mustn’t complain because I only have to think of those millionaires saving all that money on their energy bills to make me get all heated up!
Anyway, the point of this post tonight is to tell you about the new tried and tested TIME- AND ENERGY-SAVING method I have discovered – and I’m all for saving time and energy, especially when the pubs are open! There are just a few easy steps to follow:
1. Watch the weather forecast.
2. Put your washing out, ignoring the previously-mentioned forecast which spoke of rain (these weather chappies are never right, anyway!) – there’s a lovely force 9 gale blowing which will dry your washing in no time!
3. Watch the rain pouring down on your washing and try to ignore thoughts of acid rain burning holes in your lovely bright blue ITALIA hoodie which you were going to wear over the three other rugby jerseys you’re already wearing to keep out the cold.
4. Wait two more days while the rain continues to pour down and you know that your neighbours are beginning to wonder if you’ve died because your washing is STILL out.
5. Bring the washing in after another force 9 gale has dried it.
6. Decide to iron the washing and – JOY OF JOY!!!! – it’s been out in the rain so long that there are no longer any creases in it! So you SAVE TIME AND ENERGY by not having to iron AND you use less electricity, although you may feel a little sad because that means the chappie in charge of one of those lovely energy companies may now not receive quite enough bonus to complete the second swimming pool he’s having built, but there’s always a downside to everything, isn’t there?
7. Go down the pub to celebrate how much money you’ve just saved (and you’ll be using their heating, so even more money saved!).
Feel free to use these handy tips for your own benefit – you know it makes sense!