Getting old disgracefully!
Good evening from the Lifestyle Support Guru. A couple of weeks ago I put up a post about how to recognise the signs of GETTING OLD. Tonight I am going to share some secrets with you about HOW NOT TO SHOW YOU ARE GETTING OLD. The guidelines are very simple:
1. DO NOT go to the Midweek Treat at your local cinema on a Wednesday afternoon because this is where you will learn more about GETTING OLD than you really wanted to. (Monuments Men is very good, by the way.)
2. DO NOT turn off your mobile phone, so that it bleeps all the way through the film to tell you you’ve got a message. Obviously, if you’re GETTING OLD, you will be quite deaf so you
let your mobile bleep along
won’t hear the bleeps, but everyone else will. (Unless it was George Clooney’s in the film, but I’m PRETTY sure they didn’t have mobile phones in WWII.)
3. DO NOT explain what’s happening in the film to the person sitting next to you, and everyone else within five rows of you. If it has to be explained to you, you are GETTING OLD.
4. DO NOT sing along to ‘Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas’ when it comes up in the film. Singing along in public is a sure sign that you are GETTING OLD (or you are at a singalong version of South Pacific, which is much the same thing, although the singalong version of The Rocky Horror Picture Show is quite acceptable, if not downright COOL!).
5. DO NOT go to the toilet halfway through the film, just when the Nazis are being the REALLY bad guys. Going to the toilet during a film is a sure sign that you are GETTING OLD.
6. DO NOT take a mobile walking frame with you unless you have put the brakes on BEFORE you stand up at the end of the film.
Have a good evening!