Illicit Liaison

bike and car parked

The Car Park

Good evening from the Lifestyle Support Guru! This evening I have some valuable advice for any of you who may be thinking of having an illicit liaison in a pub car park. The advice? DON’T!!

Picture the scene – the pub is filled with customers waiting for Sticky Fingers to start after the Sunday night quiz. A couple comes round the corner and gets into a car parked in the car park. The car park isn’t very big, so everyone in a window seat can see anything going on there. Aftera minute or two, the couple gets out of the front seats and into the back. All thoughts of Sticky Fingers have gone – so to speak! – as those in the window seats are far more interested in what’s going on in the car park!
After about 5 minutes (maybe more, maybe less, but no-one is checking their watch), they get out of the back of the car and the woman heads towards another car, also parked in the car park , and drives off , soon followed by the man in his own car, although he turns in the opposite direction.

Now, while the LSG is not one to pass judgement on how others may wish to spend their leisure time, I feel it falls to me to suggest that there are better places to conduct a passionate affair than a small pub car park where the customers have little else to do while waiting for their Sticky Fingers! Maybe a Tesco car park, since they seem to be very quiet these days?

By all means, devoted followers, spice up your lives, but remember that Big Brother may be watching you. And if he’s not, you can bet the pub regulars are!