Making the Most of Your Assets

Glass of Beer

Real Ale

Good evening from the Lifestyle Support Guru!
Purely in the interests of socio-scientific research, you understand, I have made the long trek to a local hostelry (at least three minutes away from my abode) to view society in all its glory and I have to admit – shock, horror! – to having just shared a meaningful glance with another woman.
‘Aha!’ you may think. ‘Even in the Midlands (and even being Welsh) they are enlightened and recognise that Boy George, George Michael andElton John do not have a monopoly on meaningful glances with those of the same sex.’
And the reason for this mutual sharing of such glances? SARTORIAL ELEGANCE, of course! Being an expert on these matters, the LSG notices IMMEDIATELY when someone has committed a sartorial ‘faux pas’ and this was one such occasion.
Picture the scene:
– an ale house where ale (or wine) is the predominant matter in hand.
– SARTORIAL ELEGANCE is low on the list of priorities, unless it is something outlandishly weird or weirdly outlandish (or unless you are the LSG, in which case everyone bows to your superior sense of style, whether you’re wearing a hoodie with an amusing comment about the abilities of the English rugby team or a designer M&S sparkly top).

Now, into this haven of tranquillity enters a lady of indeterminate age and indeterminate sense of style (unlike the LSG, who can put Kate Moss and Naomi Campbell to shame), wearing a mid-length off-white (i.e.beige) faux fur coat over a pink and white double-layered chiffon knee-length dress.

victorian fashion


The height of her SARTORIAL ELEGANCE, however, which caused me and another female to exchange meaningful glances? A pair of pink and white VERY high-heeled strappy sandals (mid-January, daaahhlings!) more suited to a night in Stringfellows than a night in the nearest ale house in Derby – one can only assume she’s besotted with the current ‘squeeze’ (we’ve all been there, haven’t we, boys and girls?) and thought she’d impress him. Believe me,

pink sandals


strappy-sandal-woman, men who take you to real ale houses are only INTERESTED IN ONE THING – ale!!! The pink and white sandals will have completely passed him by, as will the fur coat and the chiffon dress – and by the time you get back to your (or his) place, he’ll have had so much ale that you could be wearing a Mr Blobby costume and he wouldn’t notice!

Contact me at any time if you wish for a more personalised guide to making the most of your assets…