Good evening from the Lifestyle Support Guru! Once again, I am here to help you through this valley of tears and tribulations – I.e., what to do after the pubs shut. This evening, I intend to offer some useful advice on how there is no need to be afraid of new technology, something which I know worries some of you – and, although this may surprise many of you, I confess to having a little frisson of fear myself when confronted by the television remote and all those buttons!
This evening’s technology lesson is to do with a ‘driverless car’ that is being developed. At first, you may, like me, have thought, ‘What a dreadful idea!’ and worried about all these cars travelling around with no one in them and no destination in mind, unless they’re just being programmed to go to the local shop and get the paper every morning – if that’s the case, just get a dog! But there are all sorts of ways in which these cars could become an essential part of your life and make you a happier, calmer person with an inner peace that will make you the envy of your friends. I am just going to touch on two such beneficial applications, but I’m sure you can think of more.
1. You can go to pubs you don’t normally visit or might not have visited in a long while because you have to drive to get there – now all you have to do is get in the car, programme it and that’s your night out sorted! An application close to my heart.
2. An end to the back seat driver.
Picture the scene: you are driving in an unfamiliar part of the country – let’s say Bromley in Kent, for the sake of it – and you have two passengers – let’s say a brother and sister, for the sake of it, one of whom stays VERY quiet in the back seat – and you are quite happily driving along, obeying the road signs, traffic lights, etc. The conversation goes something like this:
Front Seat Passenger (possibly female): Watch out for that van ahead. He’s going to turn out.
You: Yes, I spotted that and was going to take avoiding action. (Thinks: Even though he’s actually half a mile ahead.)
FSP: The blue car in front is indicating left.
Y: Yes, my eyesight still works perfectly well, despite my advanced age. (Thinks: And I’m still younger than you.)
FSP: Oh god, watch out for that bus coming up the road. It’s heading straight for us!
Y: Oh, you mean that large vehicle which I would never have spotted if you hadn’t pointed it out to me? Well, well, a bus. Well, I never – you don’t see many of those outside London, so I’m glad I know what it is now, in case I spot one in the provinces. And they’re so easy to miss, aren’t they?
So there you are – a little guide to help you overcome any fear of new technology. Mind how you go, and watch out for those driverless cars – you never know who’s in the passenger seat! (No siblings were hurt in the writing of this post, but I’m not sure about after they’ve read it!)