Question For The LSG from DOT

A very good evening from the Lifestyle Support Guru! Tonight I am going to respond to a question from DOT (Dai Of Tanzania) who, some of you may recall, last sent me a question about monkeys snaffling his bananas – I hope this is no longer a problem, DOT? Snaffled bananas is not something normally discussed in polite company, I have to say, so I shall simply move swiftly on in the hope that you have found the right cream …
Here is DOT’s current quandary:

leather jacket

Leather jackets

“Question for the LSG –
I bought an expensive leather jacket in Arusha about 2 months ago. Very nice – makes me look younger (58 instead of 60). It hasn’t stood up to the journey well, especially the carrying of rucksacks. Despite the expense, it has proved not to be real leather. A thin skin of brown leather looking material is peeling away, revealing a tan, suede – type fabric beneath.
The question is – do I accept it as an experience in life, or should I take it back to the shop and demand my 12 pounds 50p back in full?”
Firstly, who told you that the leather jacket made you look two years younger? If it was the man who sold it to you, take it straight back and ask for a refund under the Sale of Goods Act (1793), which states that it is ‘ye olde offence to vend goodes that are not fit for ye olde purpose’ – in this particular case, implying that a leather jacket can take years off you. Of course it can’t! It only makes you THINK that it can because it takes you back to your youth when leather jackets were almost obligatory items of apparel. Does Mick Jagger look younger when he wears a leather jacket? Of course he doesn’t! The material simply blends with his face, so no one can tell where his face ends and his jacket starts. Women do this all the time – it’s called ‘make-up’.



Now, as for the wear and tear – what do you expect if you insist on carrying a rucksack? A smart little across-the-body handbag would do just as well – a couple of pairs of underpants (heavy duty for those odd occasions when you come across a rampaging hippo or a cross-eyed lion), a drip-dry Aertex t-shirt and you’re sorted! Alternatively, you could hire someone to carry the rucksack for you – help the economy – and let THEM worry about ruining their own leather jacket.
Finally, you say that the jacket has ‘proved not to be real leather’, but a ‘thin skin of brown leather-looking material is peeling away’ – I can only say that I would urge you to look at Mick Jagger once more and learn from him. The ‘tan, suede-type fabric beneath’ is actually his SKIN! On a personal note, but in a similar vein, I recall buying a small handbag in Togo which was (purportedly) camel leather for which I paid the princely sum of £3 (or the Togolese equivalent) and you said I had paid far too much and would now ruin the economy in the whole of the country. I never got any further enjoyment from the purchase (mainly because I didn’t have anything to go with it!). If I remember rightly, I wrapped the bag up nicely and gave it to a friend as a Christmas present when I returned to these shores. (I also find myself following the Togolese Stock Exchange news very closely.) I would, therefore, suggest that you learn from this and that you wrap the jacket up in some bright, shiny paper and pass it on to your sibling when he comes to see you later in the year. You will win on all counts – he’ll be surprised that you bought him a present at all, you’ll have got rid of a worthless piece of tat and the Tanzanian economy will be ruined because you paid too much, so next time you wish to buy a similar item, it will cost you about sixpence.
I shall address the issue of the mobile phone with the flying battery on a separate occasion when you have had time to assimilate all my advice on the purchase of a ‘leather’ jacket.
Remember – ‘You’re worth it.’ (Worth what, I’m not sure, but £12.50 sounds a good starting price.)
Enjoy the rest of your evening, DOT!