The Lifestyle Support Guru is back after a little absence, created simply because there has not been enough inspiration out there in the big, wide world because I have not been out for as many lunches as usual! Besides, they say that absence makes the heart grow fonder. However, I have been making notes and I now feel that I have enough VALUABLE LIFE LESSONS to pass on to you. In fact, I have even learned several important LESSONS from my own life, which, as you know, is as close to perfection as it is possible to be without being an actual goddess. So, what are these LESSONS? I hear you ask. Well, in no particular order of importance, they are:
cider bottle
1. Do NOT lay bottles of Aspall’s Cider on their sides in the fridge unless you have checked that all the tops are secure. This lack of attention may lead to a leakage, which, in turn, will lead to an aroma of apples in your fridge and a sticky layer on the shelf. Worst of all, however, is that you will end up with only a third of a bottle of cider – such a waste! I was forced to drink this remainder when I discovered it, so that no more would be lost (or go flat).
2. Should you decide to use (for the first time, because you’re not quite happy about steam and electricity being used at the same time) the steam mop which a sibling left behind before moving to steamier climes (ha ha!), decide in advance your direction of movement. Starting at the far end of a long, narrow kitchen and working back until you reach the door to the next room is quite a sensible idea. A little less sensible is to start at the door from the other room and work forward to the far end of the kitchen. However, the second method IS recommended if you are in need of more exercise, since it requires the first application of the steam mop in a forward direction, followed by a second application of floor wipes in a backward motion to get rid of the footprints left by the first application.
steam mop
3. If you have siblings (other family members are available) who decide to go abroad to warmer climes and then return to this country, wishing to visit/stay with you, DO NOT ALLOW them to do so until it is high summer and temperatures are in the 90s (in the shade) AND you have checked the long-range weather forecast. If you ignore this advice, you will find that they will sit in your home with a pathetic, sad look on their little faces until you feel obliged to turn the heating up to maximum and put the fire on full. Since you are used to the British weather, you are quite happy to put on 5 jumpers and 3 pairs of socks instead, muttering, “I’m not old enough to get the heating allowance yet, you know.” After a couple of hours, you will find that the sibling is reasonably comfortable while you have turned into a red-faced, boiled beetroot displaying signs of heat exhaustion. The cats will think they have gone to cat heaven and will be stretched full out in front of the fire with a ‘Why don’t you do this all the time?’ look on their faces.
4. And finally, if you are going to visit the pub, try to avoid conversation topics such as whether mushy peas are best with sugar or vinegar, how awful dead bodies smell when they’ve not been discovered for a few weeks and the difficulties of groin surgery. (In fact, if you are in the medical profession, just avoid going to the pub and talking about work!)
It’s almost the weekend – have fun, dear devotees!
