delivery van
Good evening – once again, the Lifestyle Support Guru has been asked for help and this was such a heartfelt plea that I felt I couldn’t turn the poor bugger – oops, sorry, beggar – down, even though I try not to overburden you, my devoted followers, with too many woes to add to your already burdened lives. This plea has come from a friend who had the pleasure of reading one of my posts (because I sent it to him by email) and thought I might be able to help him. To protect his identity and those close to him, some names have been changed, so I shall just call him Nigel and we’ll pretend that he has two sisters who, for the sake of anonymity, I shall simply call Karen and Sarah, and who may or may not be friends of mine, but remember: this is anonymous. So, what is his problem, I hear you asking?
Nigel (remember, this is not his real name) is a delivery driver for a certain online supermarket (the name begins with O and ends in the same letter), a job he does to help make ends meet after retiring from the civil service (I shall preserve his dignity by not naming the section of the civil service, but the initials are FO). He lives in a squalid hovel in the leafy suburbs of Surrey, barely able to keep the roof over his head in his three-bed detached house, and his wife and child are forced to shop in the cheaper end of the market, such as John Lewis instead of Harrods, and it’s a struggle to scrape together the money needed to pay for his nightly pint which, in Surrey, can equal the cost of a small mortgage.
I can see the tears falling from your eyes, dear followers, as you try to imagine this picture of humanity at its very lowest point and the sacrifices they must make on a daily basis, such as choosing between another year’s subscription to Sky Sport or a holiday in Morocco. The agony of such decisions, the pain!
water feature
This friend, Nigel, has asked me to make the following plea on his behalf and in his own, heart-rending words, this is what he asks: “LSG, maybe you could do a post on the benefits of tipping your friendly grocery delivery driver.” My heart broke when I read those words! The pain that lies behind them! And I know that he will put any tips to good use – his most recent ones bought him a lovely water feature for his back garden which he and his wife and child sit and gaze at when they can no longer afford to have a daily shower. They also need to feed two rather large cats.
So, dear followers, remember your friendly grocery delivery driver and the tips he needs to make his life worth living again.
The LSG’s tip is: Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. It could be worse – you could be working for I*****d and delivering to your sister in Aber****n. (This is an imaginary place in the make-believe world of South Wales.)
Please feel free to send me any other tips that I can pass on to this downtrodden wretch of a man