Toilets and Weeds

Old Toilet

Old Toilet

Lifestyle Support Guru here – good afternoon! I have some valuable advice for you today on two normally-unrelated subjects – TOILETS and WEEDS! (That’s ‘weeds’, not ‘Weed’ or ‘wees’, although I suppose the last one could be relevant!)

Firstly, TOILETS: if you are unlucky enough to have a blocked toilet (as has happened to me three times in the last year), or you have to have work done on your drain (as has happened to me today), the most sound piece of advice I can give you is – make sure you know all the shops within a five-mile radius which have toilets for members of the public. I am now familiar with those in Sainsbury’s, Morrisons, The Range, Homebase and, of course, my local pubs. You also need to look as if you are actually going to shop there rather than furtively creeping into Homebase to be confronted by a member of staff when you come out of the toilet, asking in a suspicious tone if they can help you. You smile and say that you are ‘just looking’ and then casually stroll towards the Paint section, or whatever else takes your fancy.

Weed - sundew

Weed – sundew

Next, WEEDS: if you have a path made up of bricks where the weeds grow in between the cracks, don’t worry about getting rid of the weeds yourself, which can be backbreaking (and, frankly, boring) – just get a blocked toilet (see above), partly caused by a ‘dropped drain joint’ (see ‘Weed’ above, lol!), so that you have to have the drain replaced. This involves digging up the manhole and the surrounding bricks, which means that all the weeds are dug up too! You are just left with a posh new manhole AND a large hole to be filled in tomorrow, so no being led down the garden path for me tonight!

And there you have it – job done! No weeds, no blocked toilet, no money!