Good morning! Lifestyle Support Guru here and this morning, instead of helping you cope with life’s daily stresses and strains, I am going to impart some of my wisdom to teach you about your inner self and share my understanding of DREAMS! If you can understand your dreams then you are halfway to being certified insane, as you will learn.
So, if you’re sitting comfortably… the other night I dreamt that the house was falling down around my ears but neither of my sisters would do anything to help (nothing new there – only joking, sisters!) and the only brother left in the country had decided to go to the pub (nothing new there, either). Instead, one of my sisters (I won’t say which one but she lives near London) bought me a lobster in a plastic carrier bag and the other one (I won’t say which one, but she doesn’t live in England) was giving me advice on how to cook it, while I was desperately trying to stop it escaping from the carrier bag and adding to the chaos in the house. The cats, meanwhile, were having fun chasing the lobster and avoiding the spouts of water from the broken pipes in the house. I woke up just as the lobster was about to escape down the plughole in the shower (it was a very big plughole and a very small lobster).
Now, what does all this mean, you may ask…
1. The house falling down came after a long day doing lots of things but not really accomplishing anything (other than one of the cats being vaccinated), so the obvious interpretation is that the collapsing house represented chaos in my life. WRONG! A collapsing house is your inner self telling you that you would like to win the lottery and move to a nice, clean, modern house where nothing goes wrong and it cleans itself.
2. The lobster in the carrier bag? Another example of chaos? WRONG! It just means your sister has emailed you to ask what you’d like for Christmas and you’re worried that she might buy you something you don’t want (like a lobster).
3. The cats? Surely they represent normality and stability in your life? WRONG! Neither of my cats could be called remotely normal or stable, so they are just doing what they usually do – ignore me!
4. The lobster escaping down the plughole? More chaos? WRONG! It simply means you know you haven’t cleaned out the hair trap and that the lobster is just one more thing you’ll find in it when you get round to doing that yucky job.
5. The brother at the pub? You feel your family and close friends are ignoring your problems? WRONG! He was at the pub, so that was the only ‘normal’ part of the dream!
So there you are – dreams are your way of telling you that you are a lazy housekeeper and that you worry more about Christmas presents than perhaps you realised.
Please feel free to ask me for interpretations of your own dreams
Now, I must go and clean out the hair trap – hmm, lobster for lunch, anyone?