A good evening to you all from the Lifestyle Support Guru! Tonight I am going to offer you some advice about VISITORS, since I know some of you will be welcoming VISITORS over the festive season. This will be particularly useful if they are VISITORS from warmer climes, such as Australia, which is where one of my siblings happens to be residing until next Saturday, after which he will be coming home!
Firstly, you need to go to a local supermarket, let’s say Sainsbury’s – just a name plucked out of the air, you understand, since other supermarkets are available.
1. Buy a winter duvet for the spare bed – on offer!
2. Buy Heinz baked beans because you know he doesn’t like any other brand (although this may have changed since he’s been in kangarooland) – on offer!
3. Stock up on Pot Noodles – this male sibling, like the other male sibling, is a lover of processed foods (which is good, given the LSG’s lack of cooking skills) – on offer!
Having sorted bed and meals for the foreseeable future, consider what needs to be done around the house – a serious clean? – hire a carpet shampooer? – move the cats to someone else’s house? – set fire to the place you call home but which others may call a dump? You then remember telling aforementioned sibling in an email a couple of weeks ago that you haven’t had much time to tidy up because of other commitments – quizzes, lunch out, theatre, lunch out, cinema, lunch out, Italian classes, lunch
out, shopping, lunch out, weekend in Wales, lunch out… where does the time go?
You then recall that sibling replied to say that he didn’t mind ‘a bit of clutter; it would make it feel like home.’ Sorted!
The only question that remains is: do cobwebs and dust count as ‘clutter’? If so, then this is the homeliest of homes!