Whippersnappers no competition!

Young whippersnappers

Young whippersnappers

Lifestyle Support Guru here with NEWS that some young whippersnappers are trying to take my job! A friend warned me about a piece she saw on last night’s Channel 4 News about young women who are taking the internet by storm, offering advice on beauty and fashion, so I watched it on catch-up to see what the competition might be up to, with ‘Know thine enemy’ in mind. I don’t think I have anything to worry about:

1. How can you be taken seriously when you are slim (I call it ‘underweight’) and can fit into something that would normally fit a five-year-old child? People like to see someone who clearly enjoys their food and drink.
2. How can you be taken seriously when you have a flawless complexion? People want to see that you have lived life to the full and have the wrinkles to prove it.

flawless

flawless


3. How can you be taken seriously when you have a filing cabinet full of make-up? People like to see that you can create the (almost) perfect look with just a dollop of carefully-applied foundation which has lasted perfectly well for the last five years, and a swipe of mascara and lippie – if the colour was good ten years ago, why change it?
4. How can you be taken seriously when every item you’re wearing looks as if it were ironed just five minutes ago and you haven’t sat down in it since? People like to see that ‘casual’ (i.e. ‘creased’) is still a ‘look’.

Wisdom from experience

Wisdom from experience

5. How can you be taken seriously when you’re mobbed in Covent Garden as some sort of goddess? People like their goddesses to be unassuming and ordinary, to make them feel comfortable, like a nice pair of fluffy slippers.

I don’t think I’ll be losing sleep over this; there are too many of you out there who like M&S clothes and underwear far more than some flimsy undergarment which is only good for keeping the odd draught from

Raspberry

Raspberry

private places on a cold day! Have a nice evening! 
(When I say ‘odd draught FROM private places’, I mean ‘odd draught AWAY from private places’, not ‘odd draught COMING from private places’, of course! LOL!