lifestylesupportguru

Tag: cats

Try Not To Laugh Challenge – Funny Cat & Dog

Not A Grumpy Cat

The Lifestyle Support Guru loves cats and often posts about them. As she and you probably know, cats are notoriously independent and have a mind of their own. Can you really teach a cat new tricks? Sometimes, their antics are so funny, pet owners just have to video them to show others what their cats and dogs do. Take a look at the video below to see some real howlers from your favorite animals. And read through the tips to try and discipline your cat!

Can You Train A Cat?

Training your cat takes time and patience. It takes more of that than it does with a dog. A sure fire way to get results is to use positive reinforcement. Whatever you do, don’t scold your cat because she is likely to just misbehave when you aren’t looking. Instead, praise good behavior and have the video camera ready! Any cat can learn. It is wise to first start when the pet is young, about eight to ten weeks old. But the pet can do well at any age. And if you are ready with the camera, you may well get some funny footage as the cat interacts with you or just has to misbehave to show their independence.

To Get Started

How do you get started? The first thing to start with is training your cat to come when called. Hold your cat’s favorite treat and call his name. You’ll want to make sure he’s in a good mood. You’ll also want to make sure there isn’t a lot of noise either. Distractions will slow down the cat or confuse him. Decide on one command and use it solely. The command should be short and easy to say. For example, “come kitty” works well or “here kitty” will work too.

Now, get down on her level by sitting or kneeling on the floor. Give the command. Make sure your voice is exciting and happy. When the cat comes to you, reward him with the treat. Also, ensure that you praise the cat as well. Then, move away and do the same thing again. The goal is to use the same tone of voice and the same command. Work on it for no more than ten minutes. If the cat is bored or frustrated, stop for the time. Try to do this two or three times a day for about a week. Once he gets this command, you can move on to others. For some cats, the thought of a treat will have them running so fast, they may even fall over themselves. Others may just act bored, then steal the treat when you are not looking!

The Crate Or Cat Carrier

When it comes to the cat carrier, it can be done a little simpler. Cats like warm dark places so put a comfortable blanket and maybe even a favorite toy of the cat’s inside the crate. Give him praise when you place him in it. Then, leave him there for a few minutes. Let him out within three to five minutes. Don’t praise him when he’s coming out of the crate because you do not want him to think this is the good thing. Make sure to reward him, though whenever he goes in. Leave the cat in the crate a little longer each time. Eventually your cat will be trained well enough to keep him in there. Except that when it is time to go to the vet’s or the holiday kennels, your cat will be nowhere to be found, especially not near the crate.

I hope these simple tips will show you how useful it can be to give your cat a little discipline.

The Importance of Being Hygienic

A very good day to you all from the Lifestyle Support Guru and I hope you are looking forward to the weekend. I have so many subjects to tackle, such as ‘Coping with Technology’, because everyone seems to be ‘coping with’ something these days, don’t they? The topics can range from ‘Coping with a blocked drain’ to ‘Coping with a broken fingernail’ or from ‘Dealing with a depressed dog’ to ‘Dealing drugs’. (Oops! Sorry – that should say ‘Dealing WITH drugs’.) I also wish to discuss ‘Becoming Rich and Famous’, but I have decided these topics can wait because I have had an experience today from which I have learned many valuable lessons that I wish to share with you so that your lives, too, will become more fulfilled and fulfilling, more varied and valuable, more like the LSG’s life, which is fulfilment personified, varied (or do I mean ‘variable’?) and valuable (not the same as ‘rich’, unfortunately, but I have plans for that…).
1. START your day with a visit to the dental hygienist. The main lesson to be learned here is that it is better than FINISHING your day with such a visit because the latter will require you to avoid eating anything that is even vaguely spiced (such as Beef and Tomato Pot Noodle), whereas Red Cherry Wheat Bites are completely spice-free, so can safely be eaten prior to your visit .
2. Call in at a well-known supermarket on the way home (other well-known supermarkets are available, so take your pick of whichever is closest to you) to check the air in your tyres because you have a long and arduous journey ahead of you the following day to meet youngest sibling in Keighley because it is national ‘Take your sibling to Keighley for his birthday’ day (well, there seems to be a ‘day’ for everything else, so why not?). There is a long queue for the air machine – you’ve forgotten that it is national ‘Check the air in your tyres’ day – so you head to another branch of the same well-known supermarket to see if the queue is shorter.
3. On arrival at the next branch, you find that the queue is of a similar length – it’s definitely ‘Check the air in your tyres’ day – so you decide that, rather than wasting your journey, you will call in at the café and revive yourself with coffee and a toasted teacake (a taste for toasted teacakes seems to develop with age). Whilst reviving yourself, you read the café’s copy of the Daily Express and discover that, according to a dating website, people with dogs are three times more attractive to people looking for love (or ‘my soulmate’ or ‘my rock’) than those with cats; in fact, you learn that even people with rabbits have more success.
Resolve to acquire more cats.
You then see a headline asking ‘Why does my Labrador smell?’, but life is too short to even begin thinking of an answer to that – and, besides, you’ve finished your teacake.
4. Remember that you are running low on toilet paper (I am unable to explain why I remembered this after eating a toasted teacake) and head for the ‘Toilet paper’ aisle, which just happens to be via the new ‘Spring collection’ clothing aisle (if you make a detour) and you spot a rather attractive navy and white top, just right for a long and arduous journey to Keighley, even though you know you have several tops in a similar colour combination. (Some of you may recall a post from some time ago where I debated the difference between a navy and white top and a white and navy top, but there is no need for debate here because you know FOR CERTAIN that you have neither a navy and white top nor a white and navy top WITH A VERTICAL STRIPE RUNNING DOWN EACH ARM.) Besides, there’s 25% off all items – Keighley, here I come in my new navy and white top WITH A VERTICAL STRIPE RUNNING DOWN EACH ARM! I may even find somewhere to indulge in a toasted teacake…

May your weekend be filled with toasted teacakes, toilet paper and cats – unless you’re looking for love? In that case, get yourself a dog. Me? I’m off to the Cats Protection League…

Oop North at Halifax

The Lifestyle Support Guru is on a quest to introduce you to places you should visit before you die and Halifax is on the list. ‘Why Halifax?’ you ask. ‘Why not?’ I reply. There is, in fact, a very mundane explanation – I don’t like leaving the cats for more than 24 hours without some human interaction (it’s called ‘cleaning out the litter tray’), so somewhere within a 2-hour drive is ideal. And I like going ‘oop north’ – it’s another country! In fact, it’s another world!

Sheffield

The first thing that took me by surprise (just after Sheffield, which is where I consider ‘the North’ starts) was passing an Audi driver on the motorway who was in the nearside lane, even though there was plenty of space in the other three lanes. I have never seen this before although, sadly, I didn’t see any Volvo, Merc or BMW drivers following this brilliant example.
The satnav was set to take me to Halifax via the excellently-named Netherthong – how can you not go to a place with such a wonderful name? – so imagine my delight when I found there was an Upperthong as well! When I got out of the car at the top of a very steep hill in Upperthong to greet TOFU (Trefor of ‘Ull), I could fully understand why you would need both upper AND nether thongs (and preferably fur-lined) – the wind was a tad chilly in all quarters.
Having visited Barnsley on a Bank Holiday weekend, TOFU and I were not completely taken by

hot cocoa

surprise in Halifax because it’s very similar – there’s just more of it. TOFU remarked that we seemed to have arrived ‘late to the party’ at 8 in the evening. One young lady on the dance floor in the first pub we entered had obviously consumed more than the recommended number of alcohol units and another young lady was more interested in watching her own boobs jiggle about as she sat bouncing to the music. Personally, I find a cup of hot cocoa more enthralling.
The next pub had karaoke in full swing when we walked in – ‘Kingston Town’ sung by Halifax’s answer to Orville is something that will stay with me for a long time, along with the young man dancing next to our table displaying a ‘Top Man’ waistband on his underpants. If you must

boxer shorts

display where you buy your underpants, at least go with fake Calvin Kleins, daaahlings.
We then headed to the nearest Wetherspoon’s, even though we knew we would have to spend a long time waiting to get served by staff who have never learned to smile. (I have only ever been in one Wetherspoon’s pub where I was greeted civilly, served quickly and with a smile – and that was because she was an ex-pupil!) However, the pull of a pub without techno-trance dance music or karaoke sung by Orville was, I have to say, irresistible.

There is some class in Halifax – TOFU heard one young woman ask for a bottle of rosé… with a

Joie de Vivre

pint glass. His immortal comment, however, once we were seated, was ‘There’s a lot more flesh on display than perhaps there should be,’ as yet another person in shorts/hot pants passed us. I replied that that was perhaps why the textile industry failed in this area because people don’t wear enough of it. No fashion judgements were being made, you understand.
The night ended with that famous quote: “When a man is tired of Halifax, he is tired of life; for there is in Halifax all that life can afford.” ‘Who said that?’ asked TOFU. ‘Boris Johnson,’ I replied.

And the next stop on the LSG’s world tour? Who knows? Suggestions are welcome – as long as it’s within a 90-mile radius of Derby so that I can carry out my litter-cleaning duties!

The Mosquito Curtain, Cats and Exercise

beer in fridge

A very good and sweltering evening from the Lifestyle Support Guru! It’s so hot, I have been forced to get a cold Peroni from the fridge – purely to hold against my forehead to help me cool down, you understand.
Tonight’s post is one I am sure you can all relate to – how to leave the back door open without every fly in the neighbourhood coming in to have a party around the cats’ food dishes (substitute ‘dog’ or ‘child’ if you prefer). (Small pause to hold cold bottle against forehead.); so this evening’s advice is HOW TO PUT UP A MOSQUITO CURTAIN and GET MORE EXERCISE at the same time:
1. Purchase a mosquito net curtain from your nearest garden centre (although you can probably find them in Poundland at far less than I paid!).

Mosquito net

2. Once at home, remove the curtain from the box and study the instructions carefully, which are in pictures only – words could not do it justice! It says on the box ‘No tools required’, but what do you find in the very first picture? – a dodgy-looking cartoon character holding a long ruler and pencil against the top of the door frame. In my world, a long ruler is classed as a TOOL! Ignore this particular diagram.
3. Place the two halves of the curtain on the floor, as shown in the diagram, so that the magnets which hold the halves together are lined up. So far, so good.

Charlie

4. Spend the next ten minutes removing a cat from one half of the curtain – Malcolm seems to think this is a new game which involves wrapping himself inside the curtain.
5. Carefully place Velcro strips (supplied) around the outer edges of the two halves. It’s all going swimmingly!
6. Spend another ten minutes unsticking your fingers from the sticky bit of the Velcro strips when you removed the backing tape in order to stick them to the curtains.
7. Carefully carry the curtains to the back door and position them with great precision (who needs a long ruler?? Ha!). ‘Grand Designs’, eat your heart out!
8. Spend a further ten minutes unsticking your fingers from the sticky bits of the Velcro strips

Molly

when you remove the other bits of backing tape in order to stick the curtain halves to the wall.
9. Stand back and admire your handiwork and spend ten minutes showing the cats how the

curtains pull apart easily for them to go in and out. They learn quickly – providing you are actually holding the curtains apart.
10. Leave the back door open, secure in the knowledge that there will be no more flies in your kitchen and go and do something else (I find Microsoft Solitaire Daily Challenge passes the time nicely).
11. Go back half an hour later to see if there are any flies in the kitchen and you are delighted to find that there is NOT A SINGLE ONE! However – there’s always a ‘however’, isn’t there? – you will find that you now have three cats sitting outside in a straight line staring disconsolately at the beautifully placed MOSQUITO NET, unable to work out how to get back in the house!
So where does MORE EXERCISE come in? Well, you now have to traipse back and forth to the kitchen several times a day, opening and closing the curtains to allow the cats to go in and out.

Enjoy the rest of your evening! I’m off to find another cold bottle for my forehead!

Domestic Goddess

A very good evening from the Lifestyle Support Guru! You may not have noticed my name mentioned as one of the ‘winners’ in the election, but I can let you know that I shall be working undercover as a secret advisor to the government and all the other parties, but if I tell you what I’ll be doing, I’d have to kill you, I’m afraid, so I shall move on to something else.

Domestic Goddess

Now, as you know, the LSG has skills in many areas, but what some of you may not realise is that I am also a DOMESTIC GODDESS and I am going to help you achieve this status, too. Being a DOMESTIC GODDESS doesn’t have to involve such mundane tasks as cooking, washing up or cleaning the oven. Goodness me, no! All you have to do is get someone else to do it for you (by going out to lunch on as many occasions as possible) or buy a Groupon voucher for an oven cleaner to come and get rid of all the gunge that has somehow gathered inside your oven, even though you use it infrequently (that means ‘almost never’ in LSG-speak). Personally, I blame the cats – I think they may well be secret Michelin-starred chefs.

Now, imagine the scene: you have a professional oven cleaner booked for the afternoon, so what’s the first thing you do? Yes… you clean the oven! You also clean the kitchen itself and, just for good measure, the bathroom – just in case!
The cleaner arrives and you lead him into your sparkling kitchen, show him the oven and he

oven

examines it. ‘Does it have an interior light?’ he asks. You finally manage to stop laughing because this is almost the smallest oven you can buy without it being a Calor gas camping stove, so an interior light would make it look like a floor show every time you open the door!
He opens the oven door and looks inside and you feel a frisson of terror in case he refuses to clean it. ‘Please, tell me you’ve seen worse?’ you plead and he says – slowly – ‘Yes…’ and then there’s silence… until he adds, ‘We also clean carpets,’ as he looks back into the living room where the red carpet has a fine covering of long, white fur as a contrast.

Italian coffee

You offer a coffee and he then asks to use the toilet (relief that you put that little bit of extra effort in) and then you explain to him that you will be doing your Italian homework while he’s working, hoping that this will impress him and make him realise that the LSG is far above domestic chores.
The oven cleaning and the Italian homework finish at the same time – guess which one of us said, ‘Well, I’ve done the best I can.’?
To the undomesticated eyes of the LSG, the oven, once again, looks sparkling – if those bloody cats decide they want to start doing cordon bleu cooking, they can go elsewhere! This oven is not for burning!

And there you have it – being a DOMESTIC GODDESS is easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy, as long as you let other people do everything for you(except your Italian homework). Pot Noodles for me from now on – or lunch out.
Sleep well, dear followers!